Sex robot brothel banned from opening in Houston

The U.S. won’t get its very first “robot brothel” after all.

The Houston City Council amended an ordinance to prevent a company called KinkySdollS from opening a showroom where people could have, um, intimate relations with realistic sex dolls. 

The dolls sell for anywhere from $2,500 to $10,000, with optional “body heat” and AI voice options. (Can’t … unread.) It’s like Westworld, but so, so much sadder. 

The amendment — which doesn’t make it illegal to sell the dolls, only to “test” them (oh god why) at the showroom — was passed unanimously Wednesday by city council members, including Greg Travis, who, reports the AP, called the brothel “weird” and “gross.”

Regular Houston citizens also spoke out against the business. 

“The Bible says a man will leave his father and mother and become one with his wife. It doesn’t say anything about a man becoming one with a robot,” said Houston resident Tex Christopher, according to the local Fox affiliate.  

KinkySdollS opened its first “love dolls brothel” in Toronto last year, and construction on the Houston location had already begun. There’s nothing to stop the company, however, from trying this again in another U.S. city. 

Now, if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna do that Eternal Sunshine mind wipe so we can forget we ever heard about this.