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Mark Ronson said he relates to sapiosexuality, a controversial term

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Last week, singer and songwriter Mark Ronson appeared on an episode of the talk show “Good Morning Britain.” during which one host introduced him to the fairly new term “sapiosexual.” The word describes someone who identifies as being sexually attracted to intelligence.

Upon learning it, Ronson said the term could be used to describe his own sexuality. “I didn’t know that there was a word for it … but yes, I feel like I identify as sapiosexual,” Ronson said. Then, “Good Morning Britain” hosts praised Ronson for being “out and proud.”

Soon after, the internet erupted in jokes about the situation.

Others said using the term “sapiosexual” could detract from other existing sexualities and devalue people with disabilities.

Regardless of the comments, social psychologist Phillip Hammack told Insider that the term, and the trend of defining sexuality based on intangibles rather than gender-based appearances, is here to stay.

Hammack said he understands why people may be opposed to a term like sapiosexual because their views are “coming from a paradigm of sexual orientation we’ve been raised with,” or that a person’s sexual orientation is defined by their gender identity and the gender identity of others.

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But “sexual orientation is about more than genders we’re attracted to,” Hammack said. “This explosion around new sexuality language tells that story, but it doesn’t mean gender isn’t a strong anchoring concept for sexual desire.”

Critics of the term “sapiosexual” say it’s elitist, ableist, and detracts from the queer community’s experiences

When headlines started proclaiming Ronson had “come out” as sapiosexual, some Twitter users were also quick to explain that sapiosexuality is not a recognized sexuality in LGBTQ community. In fact, the term doesn’t come from sex researchers, psychologists, therapists, or any scientific resource, not to mention queer people.

Rather, the term first appeared in the mainstream in 2014 when dating platform OKCupid made it an option users pick when searching for prospective matches, according to Mel magazine writer Miles Klee. It appears the term was first created in 1998 when LiveJournal user wolfieboy said they coined it in a post called “Stoked on sapiosexuality.”

“Me? I don’t care too much about the plumbing. I want an incisive, inquisitive, insightful, irreverent mind. I want someone for whom philosophical discussion is foreplay,” wolfieboy wrote of sapiosexuality.

Some Twitter users who were critics of the term said that using intelligence as a benchmark characteristic for attractiveness can create problems. For example, the term could suggest only people with a certain level of formal education are attractive or that people with mental disabilities aren’t attractive because their brains function differently.

Additionally, some members of the queer community found the “coming out” language used to describe Ronson’s moment detracted from the often difficult situations queer people face when they come out at gay, bisexual, or another gender-based sexuality.

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Critics of the term said that using intelligence as a benchmark characteristic for attractiveness can create problems.
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Terms like sapiosexuality will only become more popular

Hammack said he’s seen terms like sapiosexual become increasingly common sexual orientation descriptors over the years.

“Some people say they are ecosexual, meaning they’re attracted to someone who cares and is passionate about environmental issues,” Hammack said.

No scientific research on these terms exists and Hammack believes this is mainly due to the scientific community’s lack of progress in the study of sexuality.

“A lot of people are identifying with language that isn’t just about gender, which the scientific community is stuck on, but it’s also about non-physical traits you like and the intensity of those feelings of desire,” he said.

Hammack foresees sapiosexual becoming an increasingly popular term people will use to describe their sexualities since society is becoming more open to the concept of sexual fluidity and variation. Still, he thinks it will be used as more as a secondary descriptor of sexuality rather than a person’s primary descriptor of the type of person to which they’re attracted.

“Intelligence can be embodied in so many ways, which is why I suspect it will be and is used as more of a supplement to other sexual identities,” Hammack said. “Sapiosexual” won’t replace the word “gay” or “bi,” then, but a person might call themselves “gay-sapiosexual,” Hammack said.

Debby Herbenick, a sexual health educator and professor of applied health science at the Indiana University School of Public Health, told the New York Times that sex scientists more often consider trait-based sexuality terms as sexual identities rather than sexual orientations.

“Intelligence can be embodied in so many ways, which is why I suspect it will be and is used as more of a supplement to other sexual identities,” Hammack said.
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The vagueness of “intelligence” complicates sapiosexuality

Mel magazine writer Klee and some Twitter users also criticized sapiosexuality because, well, who would actually say they aren’t sexually attracted to a smart person?

Explicitly declaring you need an intelligent partner, then, “feels like a declaration of superiority,” Klee wrote.

Hammack said the vagueness of the word “intelligence” does indeed complicate the idea of sapiosexuality. “It’s very much in the eye of the beholder and how they view intelligence. It could be someone who’s a talker in the classroom, or a person who is performing great on exams,” Hammack said.

Regardless of how people choose to define their sexuality, though, Hammack said it’s important to recognize one term doesn’t make another insignificant or obsolete.

Whether a person identifies as gay, straight, sapiosexual, or something else, “we don’t know why these are things we’re attracted to, which is the whole point. It’s not easily explained.”

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