Frustrated officials use pizza to explain Russian election interference

Sometimes you just have to meet the idiot masses on their level. 

That appears to be the thinking of the Cybersecurity and Infrastructure Security Agency, a part of the Department of Homeland Security, which took pains to explain foreign interference operations in a way the common dumb-dumb just might be able to maybe understand. Namely, with pineapple pizza. 

The agency created an infographic, promoted in a pizza-themed July 25 tweet, that reframes the known Russian interference in the 2016 election as a matter of culinary disagreement. In this CISA-provided example, instead of Russians attempting to sow division among Americans by inciting race-based violence, the hypothetical foreign adversary in question wants to make us battle it out over pineapple pizza. 

“To date, we have no evidence of Russia (or any nation) actively carrying out information operations against pizza toppings,” reads the document linked in the above tweet. “This infographic is an ILLUSTRATION of how information operations have been carried out in the past to exploit divisions in the United States.”

And what an illustration it is! The infographic takes the curious reader on a journey into the depths of just how, exactly, we are set against ourselves. 

Image: CYBERSECURITY AND INFRASTRUCTURE SECURITY AGENCY

“Foreign influencers are constantly on the lookout for opportunities to inflame hot button issues in the United States,” notes the CISA graphic. “They don’t do this to win arguments; they want to see us divided.”

Said foreign influence operations, CISA warns, might take to social media to troll U.S. users with comments like: “Being anti-pineapple is un-American! Millennials are ruining pizza! Keep your pineapple off my pizza! What’s wrong with plain old cheese?”

While the example provided is perhaps dumbed down to suit the likes of the QAnon crowd (or maybe the Pizzagaters?), the larger CISA message is in fact a good one. Essentially, be skeptical of sketchy social media accounts and examine the potential motivations of people stirring up shit.

And then go ahead and enjoy your pizza — pineapple or not.