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Bidets on sale at Amazon (for those who can’t find toilet paper)



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Image: kohler

As companies enact mandatory work-from-home policies and major cities shutter bars, restaurants, and schools amid the coronavirus outbreak (now a global pandemic), apocalyptic images of bare store shelves have been flooding our Instagram and Twitter feeds.

And nowhere are things bleaker than in the toilet paper aisle.

As CNN reported, retailers are struggling to keep TP in stock as people across the country hoard the stuff to prepare for the possibility of quarantine due to the spread of COVID-19. (That’s the World Health Organization‘s official term for the respiratory disease caused by the virus.) In some areas, this panic-buying has gotten so out of control that stores have begun limiting the number of packs customers can purchase at one time.

To be clear: Toilet paper can’t protect you against the coronavirus, nor is the need for it expected to soar as people spend more time practicing social distancing at home. Nevertheless, “stockpiling is not an uncommon reaction provoked by fear,” points out Todd C. Frankel, a reporter on The Washington Post‘s Finance desk, citing interviews with social scientists. “Fear of running out. Fear of the unknown and what is to come.”

SEE ALSO: We have a potent weapon against coronavirus. We should use it.

If you’re struggling to find toilet paper in stock near you, or if you don’t feel like brawling over the last pack, using a bidet makes a solid Plan B. Popular in Europe, these butt-washing toilets actually leave you cleaner than had you wiped with toilet paper (and they’re more eco-friendly to boot).

Google Trends data indicates that bidets and toilet seat attachments have swiftly become a hot commodity over the past week or so, but as of March 16, we still managed to find a couple of them in stock on Amazon. (All prices and availability are accurate at time of publication — good luck out there.)

Can't find toilet paper anywhere? You should get a bidet.

Whisper’s sleek, easy-to-install toilet seat attachment sports an adjustable water pressure dial and a self-cleaning, auto-retracting nozzle. for $74 (plus $5.92 shipping).

Can't find toilet paper anywhere? You should get a bidet.

Perfect for people who don’t want to commit to long-term bidet use, this no-frills attachment features a customizable pressure dial and durable brass construction. If you can wait a couple of days, you can buy it here for $29.95 and it’ll ship once it’s back in stock on Friday, March 20. 

Can't find toilet paper anywhere? You should get a bidet.

You can easily swap your existing toilet seat with this bidet model from Kohler, which includes a built-in nightlight, a heated seat, an odor-eliminating carbon filter, and a self-sanitization tool. It happens to be on sale right now for $449.25, or 25% off its suggested retail price of $599. Get it here.

Can't find toilet paper anywhere? You should get a bidet.

Featuring a far-reaching posterior wash mode, a wide, gentle feminine mode, and constipation-relieving spiral stream mode, the SmartBidet’s electric bidet toilet seat is unique in that it comes with a wireless remote control. Get it here for $599.

Can't find toilet paper anywhere? You should get a bidet.

Even when there *isn’t* a pandemic going around, you can’t always count on public restrooms to be stocked with TP. Enter: the portable travel bidet by Gustyle, a waterproof, battery-powered sprayer with a foldable design that’s easy to stash in a backpack or purse. Get it here for $25.99.

Can't find toilet paper anywhere? You should get a bidet.

If you’re 110% ready to embrace #bidetlife, consider replacing your toilet with Toto’s traditional-style Piedmont Bidet: It’s got a flushing rim and a vertical spray, and its classic design won’t look out of place in your bathroom. Amazon has it on sale right now for just $281.88, or 44% off its $499 MSRP — get it here.

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