Taco Bell menu items, ranked

Much like the ancient Greek philosophers who introduced bold new ideas in Athenian forums, I’ve decided to use this platform I’ve been given to talk about something very important: Taco Bell.

To some, Taco Bell is just a fast food restaurant that sort of approximates the experience of eating Mexican food. Sort of. To those of us who are enlightened, who have reached an elevated level of consciousness, Taco Bell is…still a fast food restaurant but a really great one that’s fun to talk about, and one of the all-time great Seamless delivery guilty pleasures. Few things pair better with a Saturday night full of weed and video games than Taco Bell. That’s why I’ve taken it upon myself to rank my 10 favorite Taco Bell menu items. The marketplace of ideas needs this.

Before I start, a quick note: This list only includes Taco Bell mainstays. Limited time, seasonal, or discontinued menu items are disqualified. That doesn’t mean I don’t love nacho fries, but you won’t see them here. Anyway, let’s roll.

10. Soft Tacos

One of the great contradictions in our society is that the tacos at Taco Bell aren’t really the reason to eat there. Personally, I only ever get tacos to supplement one of the more substantial menu items (like a Crunchwrap) that we’ll talk about a little later. But with the right combination of meats, cheeses, toppings, and sauces, a Taco Bell taco can be an elite side dish.

The Soft Tacos are exactly what you think they are: A pliable flour tortilla housing whatever you choose to put in them. Me? I like to feel a crunch when I bite down on a taco. That’s why Soft Tacos, which are still good enough to make this list, come in at number 10.

9. Crunchy Tacos

Everything I just said about Soft Tacos also applies to Taco Bell’s Crunchy Tacos. Again, you can put whatever you want inside one of these, so the shell is really the only differentiating factor. Few things are as satisfying as taking the first big, crunchy bite of one of these corn taco shells, ideally with some seasoned beef and Diablo sauce kicking the flavor up a notch. 

While I have the floor, I’ll note that I don’t like the Doritos Locos Tacos that much. They never come with as much cheesy Doritos dust as you want, so they wind up just tasting more like salty tacos. Hard pass!

8. Cheesy Roll Up

The greatness of the Cheesy Roll Up lies in its simplicity. It’s literally just some melted cheese inside a rolled-up flour tortilla. Cheesy Roll Ups will never be the stars of the Taco Bell show, but that’s fine because they’re just $1. If you need to add a couple bucks to an order to hit an Uber Eats delivery minimum or you just want some extra calories without spending too much money, the Cheesy Roll Up always has your back. 

7. Cinnamon Twists

Joining Cheesy Roll Ups in the “$1 sides” portion of my presentation today is the humble Cinnamon Twist. Taco Bell’s dessert offerings leave a lot to be desired for the most part, but the Cinnamon Twists add a refreshing sweetness to any greasy, meat-filled order for just a single buck. 

These bad boys, which are just wheat and corn caked in cinnamon and sugar, also make a great snack that you can save for later. There were times when I had Taco Bell for lunch and then kept idly snacking on Cinnamon Twists for like three hours afterward. Longevity is a great trait to have.

6. 5-Layer Burrito

Sort of like how Taco Bell’s tacos are somewhat unremarkable (but still good!), the restaurant’s burritos are commendable because you know exactly what you’re getting when you order one. I usually do a bit of customization with most Taco Bell menu items, but the Beefy 5-Layer Burrito is basically flawless by default.

Beef. Cheese. Sour cream. Nacho cheese sauce. Beans. Five perfect layers make for a perfectly acceptable burrito that’s a great add-on for when your Taco Bell order needs one more item to really feel complete. 

5. Chalupa

So far, everything on this list has been an entree’s sidekick. Tacos, Cheesy Roll Ups, and Cinnamon Twists make for great supporting players, but it’s time to elevate our list by finally talking about the menu’s stars.

Taco Bell’s Chalupa is, in essence, a soft taco with a weirder tortilla than normal. But that doesn’t tell the whole story.

You see, this is fried flatbread we’re talking about here. You can put anything you want inside the Chalupa shell (you can’t go wrong with beef or black beans), but the shell is why you’re here. It’s got this really unique mouthfeel that’s not as chewy as a hard taco and not as crunchy as a hard taco. The Chalupa charts its own path, and that’s how it arrived at number five on my list.

4. Quesarito

It’s a quesadilla that’s wrapped up and filled with burrito ingredients. What else is there to say?

For real, though, the Quesarito was my go-to at Taco Bell for a long time. Between the cheese that’s packed into the quesadilla shell and however much cheese you ask to be included in the burrito part of the equation, it’s a cheese-lover’s delight. Former Mashable writer and current agricultural icon Kellen Beck also tipped me off to subbing out the beef for black beans and adding potatoes, which makes the Quesarito an excellent vegetarian item. It can be a little too much flavor at times, but you really oughta at least try the black bean Quesarito with potatoes at least once. Nobody’s ever given me a negative review after following my advice on that.

3. Cheesy Gordita Crunch

The Cheesy Gordita Crunch (real experts call it the CGC) is another Taco Bell mainstay that mostly stands out because of what’s on the outside rather than the inside. But boy, is the outer shell of a CGC something beautiful to behold.

Take a hard taco shell, wrap a layer of flatbread around it like a cozy winter coat, and then add a layer of melted cheese between the shell and the flatbread. The result is something that combines both soft and hard tacos in a very literal sense, so everyone is happy. You can’t go wrong with a good CGC.

2. Chicken Quesadilla

I’m no fool. I understand that I alone am not qualified to cast judgment upon the entire Taco Bell menu. Sometimes you have to get an expert’s opinion. 

I reached out to my buddy, Dan Ryckert, who loves Taco Bell so much he got married there. He’s a busy man, but was gracious enough to passionately advocate for the Chicken Quesadilla via text message:

“The greatest Taco Bell item of all time is the Chicken Quesadilla. While other items can vary in quality based on the amount of cheese they put on it [and] the sogginess that can accumulate based on transit time, they really can’t screw up the Chicken Quesadilla. Even if they cut it weird, which they sometimes do, it’s always the perfect mixture of meat, cheese, and jalapeño ranch goop. Plus, it reheats better in an air fryer than anything else on the menu.”

Couldn’t have said it better myself. I still believe, however, that there is one Taco Bell menu item that outranks even the Chicken Quesadilla.

1. Crunchwrap Supreme

This is it. The crème de la crème of Tex-Mex fast food. When the smoke clears, the lone champion at the top of the Taco Bell-branded podium has to be the Crunchwrap Supreme.

The Crunchwrap Supreme wins because it provides the best of all worlds. A warm flour tortilla around the outside gives way to a crunchy inner shell, which itself gives way to whatever the hell you want to put inside of it. I recently had one with black beans and french fries in it. Yes, the fries came included in the Crunchwrap. They’ll do that if you ask, and it’s great!

It’s similar to the soft-yet-crunchy dichotomy of the CGC, but with the added benefit of being entirely self-contained to reduce the possibility of a mess. The Crunchwrap Supreme fits neatly in the hands, delivers the finest Taco Bell experience right from the first bite and, for my money, is the ultimate must-eat item on Taco Bell’s menu.

But even if you disagree with these rankings, one beautiful truth about Taco Bell’s menu stands above everything: It’s cheap. No matter which of these illustrious menu items is your favorite, you can always get like three of them in one order for less than $15. Whether you’re a Crunchwrap fan or a Chalupa devotee, you’ll always get something that tastes great, doesn’t cost much, and might leave you feeling a little…off by the end of the day.

And it’s so worth it.