Goop’s new vibrator is actually good

Oh, Goop. My sin, my soul: G – o – o – p.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s lifestyle brand has pivoted more and more into the sexy side of wellness in recent years. Its latest endeavors prove that: the new Netflix show Sex, Love, and Goop; “DTF” (down to fuck) supplements; and the release of its second vibrator, the Ultraplush Self-Heating G-Spot Vibrator.

This isn’t a far cry from Goop’s viral offerings of yore, such as vaginal jade eggs. In fact, the company is famous for slinging medically-questionable products.

Given this dubious track record, I was skeptical to try out this new vibrator but also curious. While heated sex toys may be a gimmick — and this one doesn’t change my opinion on that — it’s still a solid vibrator…and probably much more pleasurable than the eggs.

The goods on goop

Goop began as an e-newsletter by Paltrow in 2008. A decade later, it had morphed into a multi-tentacled brand worth $250 million, complete with its e-commerce website, podcast, print magazine, and even IRL summits. Goop’s first Netflix show, The Goop Lab, debuted in January 2020.

Along with this budding success came claims from medical experts that goop packaged and sold pseudoscience, wielding products like body healing stickers (and, of course, the aforementioned vagina eggs).

In 2021, goop seems to be zeroing in on sexual wellness specifically. While Goop Lab explored different areas of wellness including sex, the new Sex, Love, and Goop has a specific focus. There’s even a “Sex, Love, and Goop” shop on the Goop website displaying new products like the DTF supplements, which claim to boost your sex drive. We haven’t tested them yet, but buyers should always be skeptical of supplements and ensure they don’t interact with prescribed medications.

Other new products signal this shift, as well. The brand dropped its first-ever vibrator, the Double-Sided Wand that looks like an ice cream cone, this February. Then in October they debuted their latest: the self-proclaimed “ultimate” G-spot vibe, which too is in the sex, love, goop shop.

I haven’t tried that ice cream vibe, but considering Goop’s reputation I wanted to give Ultraplush a try.

The ins and outs of the Ultraplush

The toy retails for $89, which is actually inexpensive as far as heated vibrators go: Lora DiCarlo’s heated toy line, which Mashable’s Jess Joho reviewed, ranges from $95-$150.

Ultraplush, as I’ll take to calling her to save from copying that mouthful of a name, has a nautical look, with a deep blue insertable body and cream end, attached by a gold bauble.

The toy is made of body-safe silicone and is water-resistant. It can be submerged for up to 30 minutes in water around three feet deep — which is good news if you want to use it in the bath or shower.

As with other silicone-based sex toys, you should only use this with water-based lube (not oil- or silicone-based, as those lubes may degrade the material).

You charge it via USB; mine happened to arrive fully charged. At full charge, the toy lasts 60 minutes but it takes three hours to charge according to the user manual that arrives in the box.

Ultraplush has a feature I haven’t seen on another toy, and one I believe every vibe should have: LED lights that display how much charge time is left:

No need to wonder if your vibrator is going to die just before you cum. Revolutionary!

The display is on the cream side of the toy, as are its two buttons. The top button (when holding the toy blue-side up) turns on the self-heating feature. Press and hold for two seconds to turn the warming function on or off (the button lights up when it’s on).

The bottom button controls vibration and intensities. Press and hold for two seconds to turn on or off. Press once to cycle through the different modes. Ultraplush has 10 total modes: The first three are a steady vibration in increasing intensity, and the latter seven are various pulse patterns.

Ultraplush also comes with a storage pouch, but the ends began to fray even with minimal use. As with all sex toys, clean them before and after every use.

Getting hot with Goop

Ultraplush takes a few minutes to reach its highest temperature, just above body temperature (98.6 degrees F) to around 107 degrees, a teensy-bit higher than Lora DiCarlo’s 104.

As Mashable’s Joho observed, warm-up sex toys are all the rage right now — perhaps because, after almost two years of an ongoing pandemic, we need more warmth — but they likely don’t live up to the hype. Our bodies are already plenty warm, and it’s not likely a 10-degree increase will feel like much.

Indeed, while Ultraplush was hot in my hand and elsewhere on my skin, that heat didn’t make a sensational difference internally. While Goop claims the toy “feels like a partner’s touch,” it felt like…well, a toy. That’s not a bad thing — that’s literally what this is — but make no mistake, silicone doesn’t feel like skin even when it’s a bit hot.

The heated element was actually nice externally on the vulva but it may be too much for some, so test elsewhere on your body first (the manual suggests the inside of your forearm). I’d even venture to try out the warm end on non-genital parts of my body just as a muscle relaxant.

Beyond the lukewarm heat, I had fun with Ultraplush. The blue end is perfect for G-Spot stimulation, and has enough give to be flexible for different bodies. The vibration intensities and patterns are varied enough to have something for everyone, and the buttons were easy to handle even when inserted.

See Also: The best budget-friendly sex toys under $50

If you’re looking for G-spot stimulation, don’t just stick in the toy and go to town. The G-spot swells with initial arousal — say during foreplay, or if you’re teasing yourself or watching/listening to porn — which is the optimal time to stimulate the area. Give yourself a few minutes to warm up before inserting a toy (or fingers, or what have you).

Given that the insertable end is so bulbous, I’d definitely use water-based lube with this toy. That bulbous end makes G-spot stimulation easy, though, so I wouldn’t want Goop to change it.

At its highest temperature, the toy may be too hot on vaginal (or anal, though I didn’t try that out) walls when inserting it. In that case, if you still want to experiment with the heat internally, I’d turn on the heat-function and insert it before it reaches full temperature.

Overall, heated sex toys aren’t really my thing. I don’t feel the intended difference between them and non-heated toys, especially if I’ve been using the latter for a few minutes or a longer solo session.

Despite this, Ultraplush is a good G-Spot vibrator, and I had fun using it externally too even though it wasn’t made for that. Did Goop give me the most earth-shattering orgasms of my life? No, but it did the job.

Goop is an…interesting brand, to say the least. When it comes to “wellness,” I trust doctors over Gwyneth Paltrow, but when it comes to vibrators, I’m more lax on medical expertise. I’d try Ultraplush if you enjoy G-spot stimulation and believe a heated toy may be up your alley.

Or, if nothing else, you know it’s a better deal than body healing stickers.