Advice from a cool guy

Welcome to Summer Cooldown, our weeklong tribute to all things cool in pop culture. Through our role models of chill and our misguided attempts to emulate them, to the DGAF heroes so defiantly uncool they’re ice cold, we’ll attempt to define the undefinable and celebrate the characters and questions that shaped us.

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Everyone wants to be cool. 

Luckily, everyone can be cool. We all have the potential within us, but sometimes we just need a little help bringing that potential to life. I’m here to help. And what better time to do that than during one of the hottest summers to ever hit humanity?

What business do I have telling you how to be cool? Well, I’m a cool guy. Always have been.

Being cool comes naturally to me, but I’m aware of what exactly makes me so cool. With the knowledge I’ve gained by examining myself and countless other cool people I’ve encountered in real life, I am prepared to offer all the tips and advice I have for anyone who wants to be cool.

Before we hit the easily digested numbered list of cool tips, let’s do a quick explanation of what “cool” actually is.

What is “cool”?

Coolness is completely subjective. To some people, members of hardcore punk bands are the epitome of cool. To others, aloof performance artists are the coolest people in the world. Some people find street fashion to be the coolest thing imaginable, and others think the coolest people in the world are high-rolling venture capitalists that hang out on yachts.

There are so many definitions of cool and every person on earth has their own perceptions of what’s cool. Your definition of who is cool might even change over time.

When I was a kid, I thought a black belt instructor at my karate dojo who wore a puka shell necklace was the coolest person to ever live. I no longer think this is true.

The point is, you have to find what you think is cool. With that idea in mind, use these tips to help yourself achieve what you’ve always wanted to be: cool.

1. Own your shit

To be cool, you have to embrace your passions. If you’re ashamed of what you like to do, you’ll never be cool. People will sense that you’re not enthusiastic about the things you like and it will immediately make them question the things you like, and thus question you for liking those things. If you like progressive bluegrass music, own it. If you are a tennis fanatic, don’t shy away from it. Buy a Reese Witherspoon clock and hang it on your wall if that’s what drives you.

If someone says they think you’re not cool for loving horror films, forget them. They’re not worth your time, and it makes you even cooler for standing up for what you like in the face of adversity.

2. Do what you want

This goes hand in hand with tip no. 1. Cool people aren’t usually the ones that just follow whatever the trendiest thing in the moment is. They’re usually setting the trends, or at the very least carving their own paths in life.

Yes, we’re all inspired by a variety of things, but if you just glom onto what your friends say they like, you don’t really stand out at all. You need to find your own unique passions, activities, and quirks. Part of being cool is being different, so embrace what makes you different despite whatever everyone else perceives as popular.

3. Lean on stuff

Being unique and passionate means nothing if you don’t have the right vibe. To help embrace a cool vibe, try leaning on stuff. When you’re chatting with a friend, coworker, or classmate, try leaning against the nearest wall, tree, or other structure. Not like a big, tired lean, but a lean that let’s people know you’re feeling pretty chill at the moment.

Leaning on stuff gives the impression that you’re laid back, you’re comfortable, you’re cool. By being at ease, you put other people at ease, and all of a sudden your cool factor has increased drastically. 

4. Stick it to authority

You know what’s not cool? Authority. People and organizations that keep marginalized people down. You know what is cool? Sticking it to the people that abuse their power.

Skateboard where you’re not supposed to. Throw some graffiti on the side of a corporation. These things are cool as hell. If you’re not up for some of these things, at the very least you can engage with anti-authority art. Support an anarchist bookstore. Listen to anti-authority music. 

5. Quit your job and/or drop out of school

Let’s face it, school isn’t cool and neither is work. If you’re in school, drop out immediately if you want to increase your cool factor. This will earn you the respect of your peers and really irk any authority figures in your vicinity.

If you have a job, quit. Getting a steady paycheck is not cool. You’re better off spending your time pursuing other, cooler activities to become as cool as possible.

6. Wear sunglasses

Everyone knows that sunglasses instantly make you appear cooler. But you can’t just wear sunglasses all the time. You have to wear them only when appropriate, which is generally outdoors when it’s at least a little sunny. Sunglasses will give you an air of mystery and make people more intrigued by your presence.

You can’t just wear any sunglasses you want, though. You have to figure out what kind of cool vibe you want to give off. I suggest going to a store with lots of sunglasses options and trying on as many styles as you can to find the perfect fit.

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That’s everything you need to know about being cool. Remember, being cool is mostly about being true to yourself, but it really helps when you keep some of these extra bits of information in mind.