A definitive ranking of every ‘Bob’s Burgers’ Thanksgiving episode

“Pass the cranberry sauce, we’re having mash potatoes!” 

From Friends to New Girl, plenty of our favorite shows have nailed the Thanksgiving special. But no one can do this grateful holiday quite like Bob’s Burgers. 

Although the first two short seasons of Bob’s aired sans holiday episodes, Turkey Day has become an important staple in the series. Over the past seven years, we’ve seen harrowing tales of survival, disturbing accounts of crime, and a whole bunch of stellar musical numbers.

Of course, all of these stories are must-sees. But, in planning your annual holiday Bob’s binge, you might want to consider prioritizing certain Belcher celebrations over others. 

Check out Mashable’s definitive ranking of every Bob’s Burgers Thanksgiving episode below. Then, get to streaming. Happy holidays!

7. Season 8, Episode 5: “Thanks-Hoarding” 

This 2017 Teddy-centric special is strangely super sad—and, as a result, probably shouldn’t top your rewatch list.

When the Belchers offer to help Teddy host Thanksgiving dinner for his family, they find his home is packed with junk. As they begin to remove scrap metal and old phone books from the small apartment, the Belchers come to a tragic realization: Teddy is a hoarder. 

Pairing this discovery with the Season 3 Halloween special death of Francis, Teddy’s pet guinea pig, home life for Bob’s Burgers‘s favorite patron becomes just a little too dark.

“Thanks-Hoarding” gets in some cute zingers and champions a pretty sweet story. But, if you’re looking for some holiday cheer, this is one bizarre bummer you can probably skip. 

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “This is so good I’m gonna wish for a second stomach! Where’s the wish bone?” -Gene

6. Season 9, Episode 7: “I Bob Your Pardon”

Pro: the two-butted goat has returned. Con: politics have finally invaded Ocean Avenue.

Bob’s latest Thanksgiving celebration introduced fun new characters and rocked some completely stunning background art. However, the central storyline, following the Belchers as they save a turkey and unearth a mayoral scandal, doesn’t offer much reprieve from the partisan nightmare that has been 2018. 

“I Bob Your Pardon” is by no means a bad episode, but it isn’t the light fodder many of us needed post mid-terms. That being said, watching Bob dance in a cranberry bog really is an absolute treat.

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “This is a fresh cranberry sauce house, dammit! It’s who we are.” -Bob

5. Season 3, Episode 5: “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal”

This first installment of Bob’s Thanksgiving specials, “An Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal” has a whole lot going on. From a dramatic shoot out to a string of absinthe-fueled hallucinations, the Belchers’ holiday visit to the Fischoeder mansion is ridiculous—and that comes with pluses and minuses.

On the negative side, the central plot line depicting Linda and the kids pretending to be Calvin’s family (and consequently ruining Bob’s favorite holiday) is pretty upsetting. Sure, they’re doing it for five months of free rent, but a dejected, drunk, Thanksgiving-less Bob is almost too much to take.

On the positive side, Gene, Tina, and Louise’s von Trapp family style costuming next to Linda in a latex bridesmaids dress is a riot. Not to mention, the magical umbrella turkey is practically a Thanksgiving icon. 

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “It’s like The Bachelor, but at the end, the one he chooses gets eaten.” -Tina

4. Season 6, Episode 4: “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled”

Gayle is one Bob’s Burgers character we can never get enough of and “Gayle Makin’ Bob Sled” showcases so many of the things we love/hate about her—with a fun Thanksgiving twist, of course.

Dealing with an early snowstorm, Bob goes to pick up Gayle from her home on Thanksgiving morning. But, when a passing snowplow buries Bob’s car, the two are forced to head back to the restaurant on foot with Gayle’s cat, Mr. Business, in tow. 

Continuing numerous beloved Bob’s storylines, including the romance of Gayle and Mr. Frond, this snowy special isn’t the best Thanksgiving fun the series’ has to offer, but it’s still more than worth additional viewings and adds important texture to Bob’s canon. 

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “Gene, get me a needle. Tina, get me some thread. Louise, get me a drink. Everybody scrub in for turkey surgery, stat!” -Linda

3. Season 5, Episode 4: “Dawn of the Peck”

I can’t tell you if the science behind “Dawn of the Peck” is accurate, but I can assure you of one thing: if I am every surrounded by a hoard of angry birds, this episode’s events will be my only guide to safety.

Leaving Bob at home to talk to his turkey baster, Linda and the kids take off Thanksgiving morning to join in Wonder Wharf’s Turk-tacular Turkey Town Festival and Turkey Trot. However, when the turkeys, chickens, and geese at the event turn against 5k participants, it becomes clear the break from tradition wasn’t such a good call. 

This episode is completely stuffed with killer comedy turns. From the horrifying accident of The Tickle Boat to Bob drunkenly belting out Donna Summer lyrics, every minute of this episode screams holiday fun. 

Well, okay, maybe minus all of the injuries.

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “It’s gonna be like running of the bulls, but cute and safe!” -Linda

2. Season 7, Episode 6: “The Quirk-ducers” 

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Tina Belcher is the voice of every generation. 

“The Quirk-ducers” chronicles the behind-the-scenes side of Tina’s stage debut in her Thanksgiving erotic-fiction-turned-musical “The Quirky Turkey.” There’s plenty of glitz and glam, but also some horrifying gore and “implied nudity” with a pig. Oh, and the songs totally slap. 

This is one middle school holiday show you actually don’t want to miss. Heck, even Grandpa Potato made it. 

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “I’ve worked hard getting a whole bunch of giblets and gizzards. People don’t want to sell that stuff to a nine-year-old.” -Louise

1. Season 4, Episode 5: “Turkey in a Can”

The mysterious case of the toilet turkey is one Bob’s Burgers saga that totally nails everything that makes this show great. You’ve got a tense, complicated, inventive plot building alongside some of the funniest one-liners known to adult cartoons that all wraps up in the most heartfelt, Bob’s way imaginable. 

As Bob attempts a three-day salt rub on the family’s holiday bird, he discovers that someone has put the uncooked meat in the toilet. He and Louise each conduct independent investigations into the crime and identify very different suspects.

Essentially a holiday special turned CSI spin-off, “Turkey in a Can” is quintessential Bob’s—and that’s something we can all be grateful for.

Best Thanksgiving one-liner: “You can put a turkey in a toilet, but you can’t put me in a toilet!” -Bob