Signs a relationship isn’t actually exclusive

Deciding to be in an exclusive, committed relationship with someone is a pretty big step. And although it’s something you should discuss with your partner, you may already feel as though the two of you are in an exclusive relationship.

But sometimes you and your partner might not be on the same page. Here are some signs your relationship might not be exclusive, even if it seems like it is.

Keep in mind that although this list can be helpful to reference, the best way to know if you and your partner are in an exclusive relationship is to have a direct and honest conversation with them about it.

They ignore you for long periods of time and never explain why

If your partner oftentimes ignores you for a long period of time and then attempts to resume communication as though nothing ever happened, you might not be in an exclusive relationship with them, according to Shannon Thomas, certified trauma specialist, licensed clinical social worker, and international bestselling author of “ Healing from Hidden Abuse.”

“One of the most telling signs your relationship is not exclusive is unaccounted for silence from your significant other, meaning that there are pockets of time where they don’t return texts or phone calls, but then [they] pop back up as nothing is wrong or different,” she told INSIDER. “They expect you to continue where you last left off and never address their disappearance from communicating with you.”

Read More: Why you could suddenly lose feelings for your partner — and what to do about it

You can’t get in touch with them during weekends and evenings

iStock

If your significant other only seems to communicate with you Monday through Friday during business hours, it could be a sign that you two are not in an exclusive relationship.

“A common sign your relationship is not exclusive occurs when your significant other is often not available during social times, such as evenings and weekends,” Thomas told INSIDER. “They may be fitting you in their schedule around the other people they are seeing.”

Even though you’ve been together for quite some time, you haven’t been introduced to their friends or loved ones

If you’ve been dating your partner for months but haven’t been asked to meet their close friends and loved ones, your partner may not be interested in exclusively dating you.

“Usually if you are exclusive with someone they will introduce you to their relatives,” Samantha Daniels, former divorce attorney, relationship expert, and founder of Samantha’s Table Matchmaking, told INSIDER. “If they haven’t and you have asked to meet them, this could be mean that you aren’t the only person in their life.”

Read More: How to decide when to introduce your partner to your family and friends

They’re very secretive about their plans

“When two people are in a committed, exclusive relationship, it’s only natural and normal to tell each other where you are going and where you are,” Daniels said. “If you find that your significant other is being secretive with you or just evasive, the relationship probably isn’t as exclusive as you thought it was.”

Each week, you have no idea when you’ll see them, if at all

Your relationship might not be exclusive if your partner constantly wants to “play it by ear,” go long periods of time without seeing you, and avoid making concrete plans, Bonnie Winston, celebrity matchmaker and relationship expert, told INSIDER.

Although there could be reasons you two don’t see each other often during the week, like long distance or work schedules, if your partner isn’t even making an effort to try to see you or keep in touch with you, it could be a sign they’re leaving their schedule open for other people.

Read More: 8 relationship ‘red flags’ that may not be as big of a deal as you think

They are still active on dating sites and apps

iStock

Whether you’ve already committed to being exclusive or have yet to discuss it, if your partner is still active on dating sites and on dating apps, they are probably not in an exclusive relationship with you, according to Celia Schweyer, dating and relationship expert at DatingScout.com.

“Being keen and active on dating sites and apps — this doesn’t include just having a profile you were too lazy to deactivate or have forgotten the login details of — should be a telltale sign that you’re not in an exclusive relationship,” Schweyer told INSIDER.

She said if your partner is always on these apps and websites to chat with other people, it “is a clear indication that despite seeing you, they are still proactive when it comes to meeting potential partners or hookups.”