Rich couples worth more than $5 million tend to fight less in divorce

An amicable divorce takes
$5 million for rich people.
Tristan
Fewings/Getty Images

• Rich American couples who have about $5 million are
  more likely to have an amicable divorce, says one divorce
  lawyer.
• That’s in contrast to upper middle class couples worth
  between $1 million and $5 million,
  who 
  tend to fight more under the strain
  of socioeconomic pressures.
• This insight comes from writer Lauren Vinopal’s
  exploration on
  Fatherly of why the upper middle class — dubbed
  “the fighting class” — fights the most about money.

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Couples fighting about money
is nothing new. Financial problems are at the root of many divorces …
and that may be particularly
so if the couple has a net worth of less than $5 million.

That’s the magic threshold for rich people to have an amicable
divorce, divorce attorney Randall Kessler told writer Lauren
Vinopal in an article on
Fatherly. That’s because, according to Kessler,
money still matters under $5 million, and it’s worth fighting
about. “If you have less than $5 million you’re not set for
life. Less than $5 million, you’re not secure no matter who you
are,” Kessler told her.

This is insight from Kessler’s experience, not data based
on a large-scale study. Still, Kessler’s observations align with
Vinopal’s analysis of why the upper middle class is dubbed “the
fighting class.”

“There is a thick line between those who are wealthy enough
to not fight over money and people who have money, but not
substantial wealth,” writes Vinopal. “The very wealthy fight less
and often through proxies. The nearly wealthy fight directly and
fiercely to maintain a more tenuous position in the social order.
To be almost rich is to be part of America’s fighting class, a
group that — despite profound privilege — seem particularly prone
to serious family conflict.”

“That nervousness hangs over the upwardly mobile, who feel
a unique sort of pressure that tends to catalyze disagreements,”
writes Vinopal.

The threshold for an embroiled upper middle class couple is
more difficult to put a number on. With $1 million as a standard
for “financially comfortable,” writes Vinopal, citing the Schwab
Center for Financial Research, that leaves families with a net
worth between $1 million and $5 million (around 9.4% of
Americans) as “the fighting class.”

With money often at the forefront of contention for this cohort,
it may be wise for couples to get a prenuptial
agreement before getting married.

Prenups determine what happens to assets, like property, and
financial obligations, like debt, in the event of a divorce.
While they often instill fear of a worst-case scenario among
couples, it’s smart to sign a prenup so things don’t get ugly
should the marriage take a turn for the worse.

“The point is to discuss and plan now, while you are most
in love and most in tune with each other,” Terry Savage writes in
“The New Love Deal: Everything You
Must Know Before Marrying, Moving In, Or Moving On! “not
later, when you need to argue it out, and these become power
issues as much as financial or social issues.”

But even if marriage does end in divorce — even the fighting kind
— that doesn’t mean it was a failure. Couples therapists have
said that marriage helps people grow, even if they grow out of
the relationship. 

Marriage and family therapist Hal Runkel previously told Business
Insider that marriage has “evolved into a people-growing
machine,” and sometimes, one or both partners change. 

“Making a mature decision in that direction may be the best
outcome of all,” he said.